Fund The NHS By Taxing The Corporations Who Put Us In Hospital

Some of our beloved brands and corporations are essentially killing their clients and taking their cash. And while it is of course our responsibility if we choose to drive ourselves into a high speed smash; smoke ourselves to lung cancer or drink ourselves to liver failure, it’s big business facilitating it and making billions of profit in the process. It’s estimated that smoking costs the NHS £5 billion a year. It’s obvious that between them, the cigarette companies/smokers should be contributing to that. I’d like to hear one argument that states otherwise.

So, how could you fix it?

Take the burden from the people by setting up an independent agency that scores any company that earns over *insert very large figure*, out of ten (in crude terms), on how negatively they impact people’s mental and/or physical health.

So for example, (and without the insight that my made up agency would garner), high tar cigarette and strong alcohol companies might get a 10/10; car manufacturers with a poor safety record might get an 8; certain fast food and fizzy drinks companies might get a 6 etc etc. Safer brands of the same industry would have a lower score. For example if one car manufacturer’s cars were involved in a proportionately significant high number of deaths or hospital admissions, they would score higher than those who have an impressive safety record. On the flip side, companies who provide benefits to health, could potentially get a minus score (and a tax break). The agency would work on the scoring algorithms and inspect organisations to determine their score.

‘NHS Tax’ them relative to their score and put it all in the NHS. In one fell swoop, you’re funding the NHS and as a nation we can sit back and watch the country’s most dangerous brands get their act together for fear of a high score/tax. One critical safety modification to your very popular family car later and your multinational’s premium goes down a point; a new scientifically developed filter in the cigarette butt of your brand, means there’s far less carcinogens passing through and it proved a worthy investment, as the agency agreed to putting your premium down… etc etc. You get my point.


Naturally, chunks of those premiums would likely filter down to the customer at the point of sale. But they should, shouldn’t they? Smokers should pay for the burden that smoking puts on the NHS; and that pint would taste so much sweeter, knowing that the 25p (or whatever) extra is funding the NHS. Let’s face it, our caring for the price of these vices have been cauterized now – they’re so astronomically priced, what’s a few more pence? It should, in turn, lower the income tax burden on us peasant’s shoulders, anyway. Roughly 5% of our taxes go to the NHS, currently.

So, brands get cleaner/safer, the NHS has more money than it would know what to do with, people benefit in health terms because of the safety improvements/better standards, there’s more money in the pockets of the individual through tax reductions, it doesn’t impact any corporation that doesn’t impact anyone’s health, and the wealthy don’t have to pay for poor people’s NHS care. What’s not to love?

Read An Idea For a New UK Democracy >

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Posted by on February 2, 2015 in activism, NHS, nhs funding, politics, uk politics


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An Idea For A New Democracy In The UK

An Idea For A New Democracy In The UK
political party leaders uk 2016

You don’t have to be red or blue any more; you can just be a grown up.

Never mind all that first past the post and proportional representation. Let’s fix democracy by ending party politics and running with this idea.

Is the morally inflexible nature of ‘nailing your flag to the mast’, firmly affixing yourself to someone else’s ideology and manifesto and signing up for the blue, red or yellow team the way to a better Britain? If 40% of people vote for the blue club – the other 60% are stuck with the blues, even if they’re fervently yellow, purple, red or green. Naturally this would make 60% of the nation slightly disgruntled for 5 long years – it doesn’t take a genius to work out that the whole principal isn’t fair and it doesn’t make for a particularly happy Britain.

We subscribe to a system where we vote for these major parties, loaded with pig-headed politicians, guided by their own mob’s vested interests or inflexible manifestos; fixated with ingrained ideologies and who so often refuse rational input and compromise in order to remain looking like determined ‘leaders’, while perhaps we should expect to look to an eclectic bunch of bright minds, scientists and the technically minded who’d happily admit when they’re wrong and learn from their mistakes. Politics and the political system is looking archaic now. Proper 70s. What’s more, is that governments rotate their team’s people about. Suddenly the bloke in the treasury finds himself in charge of the country’s defences because the PM isn’t best pleased with how one or two of his cabinet are performing elsewhere – and somehow that’s the accepted solution. You wouldn’t have a head mistress who’d never taught before, or had any experience in education, running a school – let alone someone with absolutely no involvement in education – suddenly running the nation’s ENTIRE educational system!

So, how could you fix it?

Ditch the party system. From now on, every five years, individuals who specialise in a field put themselves up for the job of minister within a specific department in government. They are individually elected. As well as an elected PM, we get an elected Foreign Minister, an elected Education Minister and so on.

These heroes in their field perhaps wouldn’t ordinarily dream of joining one of the political parties, but they may well consider a five year stint working solely within their specialism. An elite list of nominees come forward and convince us of what they’d like to achieve, specific to that field – not one man and a team of politicians who’ve little or no experience in any of the services that their departments take care of or a team of individuals we know nothing about individually, and who so often turn out to be schmoozing with lobbying corporations or hide dark secrets from the 80s… When elected, this new workforce move in and get to work. All those who came second in the voting take their seats in the ‘shadow cabinet’, or better still, act as the new ministers’ second in command. You know, working together, as opposed to against each other…

So you’d have a long checklist of MPs to elect at the polling office, but to avoid empty tick boxes and uninformed guesses, everyone would be eligible to pick their choice for PM and three additional MPs only. This way people would prioritise the governmental departments that mattered to them the most. If you’re a taxi driver with kids in school and a very poorly relative in care for example, you might feel passionately enough to put crosses next to your choices for Health Secretary, Transport Secretary and Education Secretary.

In the run-in to an election, as well as the battle for PM, you’d ‘tune in’ to the races for the departments that mattered to you most and that you think you’d pick as your three to put your crosses next to. One televised debate for each department perhaps – you take your pick as to which ones matter to you enough to watch. Imagine the discussions between commuters, at taxi ranks, between lorry drivers, at logistics companies’ head quarters and in train station staff rooms, up and down the country, as the responsibility for electing the Minister for Transport fell reliably upon the shoulders of those who really know the fundamental issues with the system and which candidates are best placed to be installed. And perhaps a fight for a Department for Young People might see some brilliant young candidates coming forward and capturing the imagination of our long lost youth, dragging a couple more million to the polling booths.

The end result would be a hand picked dream team of brilliant individuals being held to account by, and with support from, the second highest vote-getters. Yes, they would all have to work together, just like every other work place in the country – take out the silly, childish team colours and automatic gainsaying that comes with the current political territory, and collaboration looks possible. Normal people, professionals, high profile individuals and existing politicians (yes, the best of them deserve some of these roles!) would all be on a level playing field and the most eligible will rise to the top, never mind their previously defined political leanings.

No more ingrained party-based ideology. Just hard work from people who really know their stuff and how to make the best of their departments, under the watchful eye of the person with the second most votes.

You don’t have to be red or blue any more; you can just be a grown up.

Read Fix & Fund The NHS by Taxing The Corporations Who Put Us In Hospital >>


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Yes, My Wife Is Vegetarian… Now Fuck Off.

Over on the much-maligned Google+ (which is totally unjustified by the way, but that’s another blog) I follow The BBC. They recently posted a story about vegetarianism. I didn’t even read the story so i’m afraid I couldn’t tell you what it was about exactly as I was immediately distracted by the comments war that had erupted below. Well, I say “war”, it was more simply peppered with a passive aggressive set of digs from some who are perplexed that people have the nerve to opt to be vegetarians; mystified at the arrogance of it all – like vegetarians think of themselves as some kind of super-being on a right-on path to be much, much better than them. You may know the ones.

Meat-hatted phone lady

So why do so many meat eaters take issue with vegetarianism (not all – I don’t want to generalise – 99% totally accept it and i’m sure you do too)? Why, to some, is being a vegetarian such madness when a gazillion people in this country live on Iceland “Lasagne Bites”, microwave ready meals or McDonald’s?!  My wife’s a veggie and has been since she was 16. She’s fit as a fiddle and bright as a button (excuse the simile over-use). Largely through her influence (or persistent indoctrination – i’m yet to decide) I decided to cut out meat but still eat fish and sea food (feel free to probe me on this or call me a hypocrite – I’ve had it a couple of times). She was keen to raise our two girls the same way as her. I did have concerns I must admit – as it turns out, only through ignorance. The girls are strong and have boundless energy – the two things I was worried about. Their diet is varied and contains all the nutrition they require – probably more in fact.

vegetable hat

Vegetable-hatted lady. Just as silly.

My eldest is two years old (and the following is the kind of statement that strikes a chord with the meat eaters who go after vegetarianism and if it raises your hackles, ask yourself why) and she isn’t conscious she is a “vegetarian” but out of the blue she said “I don’t eat animals”. Frankly, it sounded right for my little girl to say it; she loves animals (I’m not implying that you don’t if you eat meat by the way – just explaining the goings on in our lives). She had obviously picked up somewhere that some do “eat animals”, or heard in a story an animal eating another animal; but the shock of it prompted her to point it out. She goes to petting farms, she has a room full animal toys, her favourite place is the Zoo, she’s a big animal fan. That is why, in the main, people are vegetarians: they love animals and don’t want to turn 10,000 of the cute little bastards into faeces, throughout their lives.

Twat sandwich (No phone)

It’s pretty much that simple. It’s nothing to take offence at – vegetarians don’t do it to offend you, they don’t do it to be in any way more righteous than you, they probably don’t even want to tell you; they just do it quietly for themselves. But every now and then a meat eater with an issue with it will call you out for being “a hippy twat” or scan your house for leather or point out the irony that “you eat bacon-shaped Quorn!” (LIKE IT’S A THING!) or look desperately for something to run with in a needless quest to have a dig. To those people out there who do: it’s really shit, let’s live and let live, eh?

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Posted by on January 24, 2013 in cooking, Food, meat, vegetables, Vegetarianism


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What You Can Do To Protest Against The News of the World

I have seen pockets of cynicism surrounding people tweeting in outrage at the recent revelations surrounding News International. “I suspect if this was France we would be storming the NOTW and smashing the windows in. Here a mildly outraged tweet is the response,” was one that agitated me slightly. A physical protest is still very much a possibility but in this day and age you can have more impact from your front room than you can waving a sign in London with a bunch of mates, or indeed “smashing windows in.” I have read a Guardian article touching on a few methods and obvious actions but there is a multitude of ways that you can act. Key is to influence the readership. Boycotting is all well and good but those that are calling for action on this point are not readers and neither are their friends; do the dedicated readers disregard it all as political nonsense anyway? People are often preaching to the already converted, you need to get creative to get your message to the right people. So here are some of the best examples that I have come across to date on how you can act…

Needless to say the strongest action that can be taken is to boycott the paper – but you being here would imply that you’re already not huge fans. An even stronger message will be sent out if you boycott News International in full – here is a list of everything that they own: click here.

Contact Advertisers and Stockists Via Email, Letter and Phone.

Above the Government and the media, it is the people that have the power. They wouldn’t be where they are without us. Phone the communications department at WHSmiths, write to Sainsbury’s, email Waitrose – they all peddle this newspaper – would the profit on this paper be worth alienating the public?! No. And the first stockist to stand up and say we no longer want to be associated with this paper will undoubtedly stand out as brave and noble – priceless marketing – tell them so!

Sign Petitions.

Look up growing campaigners Avaaz and 38 Degrees they are always campaigning against the BSkyB takeover and are often running petitions for good causes against moves of power that have us all dumfounded. Sign their petitions and follow them on social media. Petitions do have a great impact.

Ask Your Local Businesses to Stop Buying The Papers.
Your local hotels, B&Bs, cafes and greasy spoons will all stock up on Sunday papers – do they buy the News of the World or indeed other News International papers in the week? A friendly word with the Manager may make him think twice about being seen to perpetuate this kind of “news.”

Ask Your Local News Agent Or Shop To Reconsider Stocking The Paper.
If enough people mention it to the same shop keeper and if he or she hasn’t already considered it, it must have sway.

Pressure From Inside.
Do you work in a shop that sells it? Even in the big chains, a word with your Manager and insistence that it be passed on further up the chain will add to the multitude of voices and consciences nagging at the people who make these kinds of decisions.

Tweet Using Hashtags
Hashtags like #NOTW will be picked up by those reading the thoughts of people who have used that hashtag, so if you don’t have many followers use a tag to get it read and possibly perpetuated my more people.

Tweet Those That Advertise in and Stock The Papers.
It carries weight. It seems folly but the more bombarded they get the more they have to take note. Don’t just retweet other messages though or even copy others tweets as your own – write something from you as being inundated with the same message will feel like they are being targeted by a campaign rather than real, individual customers.

Using Facebook
Twitter has its uses but people fall into circles of like-minded people on there – Facebook is where your best efforts could be made in influencing others when it comes to social media. We will all have people who read the paper and buy into News International on a grand scale in our friends lists and these people may regard your calls to boycott as a nuisance and boring, political nonsense. They may even hide you if you bang on about it. Humour is a fantastic way to get through to all your friends. No-one wants to feel like a tosser for buying News of the World so some sharp wit may make them feel like one if they were to purchase it. Twitter’s Twop Twips have been tweeting some gold recently so why not copy the following into your status and put egg on the face of the paper and those that purchase it…

Avoid unnecessary embarrassment this Sunday by asking your newsagent to hide your NOTW inside a copy of Razzle. Via SGFMann

When lining a litter tray with newspaper be careful or you might accidentally get some News Of The World on the cat shit. Via SBlackwell

Like Appropriate Facebook Pages.
Every time you like a page ie Bringing Down News of the World or Boycott News International it sends a signal to your friends about how you feel – some may follow suit. Interacting with the pages also shows up in your feed. You may also pick up useful tips on how best to channel your frustrations and should there be a call to protest, you’ll be in the know immediately.

Get Creative.
Video, humour, music, art – these are things that transcend through your bubble and out into the bigger community and that is what needs to happen. A News of the World reader may not be interested in a satirical blog or a news article but a song may capture their imaginations. Remember, preaching to the converted is a waste of time – you need to gently sway the readership.

This may be necessary but thankfully it looks like this whole sorry affair is finally beginning to be taken very seriously indeed by all political parties, the responsible press, the BBC and the police. But should it not go the way it needs to, people may have to mobilise in a peaceful stand against what is happening.

Interfere With The Papers In The Shops.
It’s not illegal. Put a couple of other less-appealing papers on top of the NOTW stack by accident. Or why not print these off and pop them on top of the pile this Sunday – might make those people who were close to not buying the paper think again!

Right then. I’m spent. Any i’ve forgotten stick in the comments or visit this Facebook campaign and message us there: click here.

But do something!!!

If I should suddenly disappear – remember there is massive a criminal organisation at large capable of doing all sorts of unsavory acts, eh? Follow me by clicking here.


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Three Great Speeches That You May Never Have Seen.

Stephen Fry Comedian

Stephen Fry Speaks Out Against the Catholic Church

The reason I started this post was because I just witnessed something a little special by the legend that is Stephen Fry. In my opinion he is one of Britain’s brightest minds and if he put himself up for election tomorrow I would not not only vote for him but I would drive his election bus; but the bloke is far too clever for politics. He thinks and delivers in a way that you rarely see and he is an inspiration. A friend once described him as, “Absolutely gigantically brained and a very funny man of genius and classic British understatement. He has the best turn of phrase since Winston Churchill and does a great line in filthy humour too. The man is an institution.”
And here he is single-handedly blowing away the draconian Catholic Church… And don’t forget to click on part two as it gets better.

1. Stephen Fry on Catholicism

In 1992, at a time when I was more concerned with crisping my hair into a flammable state with VO5 or selecting C&A’s finest in ski jackets and stone washed denim, a little girl stood up and gave the grown ups something to think about. With a prophecy that is now only just being echoed by the rest of the world, this little girl had her head screwed on properly…

2. The Girl That Silenced The World For 5 Minutes

We don’t often hear soldiers speaking out. If you join the army you tend to be all for what the government throws your way – if indeed you have a choice. So it was refreshing to hear Mike Prysner back from his call of duty with some alternative words about his experience. Warning, hairs on back of neck may rise…

3. Mike Prysner on the War in Iraq.

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Posted by on April 8, 2010 in conspiracy, corruption, Facebook, Religion, speeches, war


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Anything But England Coming Home With A Trophy Will Do!

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Posted by on February 16, 2010 in comedy, england, football, humor, humour, joke, Media, sport


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Wasting the Time of One Mark Smith

You may have read my wind up of a chap calling himself Charles Harwood, Esq (see: Wasting the Time of One Charles Harwood Esq) Well, the suckers keep trying to tempt me in with emails promising riches beyond my wildest dreams… Read on.

mark smith wrote:
Good day,
I hope this e-mail meets you in good health and spirits I am MARK SMITH.. A supervisor of wildlife research institute United Kingdom. I want to book dinner for a group of workers. We are 10 in number and will be coming for dinner in your place.
(Arriving time is not certain but they would dinner for 4 nights)
As i do not know what the guests might choose for their mealsand drinks i will make a pre-payment of GBP 850 POUNDS.
Thank you for your kind help in advance.
Kind Regards,
Mark Smith
United Kingdom.

roskolewis wrote:
Hi Mark, yes we have been expecting you please go ahead and make the payment on our website and we look forward to seeing you when you get here,
Yours, Ross Slaughter

Mark Smith wrote:
Good to read from you.I will send to you my Visa credit card details that will cover the cost of our booking,and the necessary arrangement for the guests.Moreover,we also made an arrangement with a logistics agent who will take care of all the guests logistics to include. 1) Accommodation 4)Transportation logistics during their stay. However,because of security reasons and confidentiality reposed on you and because they do not have credit card facility, we have decided that only YOU will have to handle the credit card information. So,once you receive my visa card account information, you are required to charge the total amount of {GBP 6,250} then deduct your deposit which is {GBP 850 } and send the balance of {GBP 5,400} to the logistics agent whose information will be forwarded to you once this is confirmed. N.B: All checks and balances will be made with you on 5th JUNE 2009 which is the final day of
the booking. So confirm this and provide me with your
1. YOUR FULL NAME………………..
2. ADDRESS………………………………….
for office records. You are also to deduct the visa fees and taxes involved in processing this amount.PLEASE CONFIRM IF THIS ARRANGEMENT IS OK AND REPLY PROMPTLY TO ENABLE US PROCEED. Kind Regards,
Mark Smitt
60, Rumford Rd,
E15 4BZ , London,
United Kingdom.

roskolewis wrote:
Oh, I thought you were turning up tomorrow night.
Regarding the Armitage Bladder that we discussed on the phone the other day, do you want it in purple or monkfish colour. Also you touched on the subject of coming to the felching party – do you still want to go ahead with this? As I said, go to the website that you have used for all the relevant details Mark. Did you need some kind of help here? Are you still coming?

Mark Smith wrote:
*/ With my respond i want to reasure you that I have confirmd
my bookings on the said dates 01/06/09 to 05/06/09 that means 4
nights so i will want you to make sure that you make every
arranagement to make sure that you reserve that space for us
you already known that we are a group of 10 which is made
up 10 adults /*
*/ So once more am very happy for your offer and also am
requsting for you to provide me with the information below
so that
i will send you a detail information containing my credit card
details for charging /*
*/ So the information that are required from you are stated as
follows /*
*/ Once the information above is received i will forward my credit card details to you

roskolewis wrote:
Mark, what is going on here, you asked for my address last
time we spoke. Is everything okay? When we spoke on the phone did you say you liked drinking “vinegar stroke juice?” I need to know in order to organise the reception drinks for when your team arrive. Do you need anything else? I would imagine having deposited your funds you will need some money from me, yes? That is clearly how these bookings work isn’t it?

My full name and address is:

Ross Slaughter,
Larry Hagman House,
Bendolin Road,
East Bumbaclaart

Mark, can you confirm that you and your team are definitely up for
the felching party as I need to get the numbers down soon!

Yours thankingly,
Ross Slaughter

Mark Smith wrote:
I would like you to please kindly confirm the following steps for me. Upon the reciept of your confirmation I will send the details of my credit card for you to charge accordingly.
All you are required to do is :
1. As soon as you recieve the credit card details you are
required to charge the card for the total amount of GBP 6,250 + bank charges.
2. Once this is done and confirmed in your account, you simply
deduct the deposit of GBP 850 for your services and then
3. send the balance GBP 5,400 to the Logistic agent to enable
him conclude all traveling/accommodation arrangement. His information will be forwarded to you alongside the credit card
information.The balance includes the transfer charges via SWIFT bank or western union money transfer.
You are also to deduct the fees and taxes involved in processing this amount form the credit card details
4.. Prepare all invoice in my name.
Kind Regards,
Mark Smith

Subject: Re: CONFIRM THIS ……………….
To: “Mark Smith”
Date: Thursday, April 9, 2009, 4:16 PM

Mark, why are you not answering my questions?!?
Do you want “Vinegar Stroke Juice” and do you want to come to the Felching Party?!?! Once you have confirmed this I will deposit the funds!

Mark Smith wrote:
Many thanks for your email and also for the reservations me and my group,we will be very happy to spend the short while dinning at your place I want to confirm that i will be wanting the “Vinegar Stroke Juice” and also will be attending Felching Party so i want you to get back to me once you receive my email so that i will be sending you my credit card details for charging, I will want to remind you that you should note that my group is made up distinguish gentle men and ladies so we should be treated at such I will want an email from you urgently to confirm that you have received my email so that i will send provide my credit card details in my next email
Mark Smitt
60, Rumford Rd,
E15 4BZ , London,
United Kingdom

That’s fantastic Mark, I look forward to having a felching good time with you and watching you gulp my very own Vinegar Stroke Juice – full of protein! Anyway, I don’t know why we are talking about money as you paid me up front over the phone remember silly? Anyway, despite the fact that you have already paid me money for staying in my Hotel, Hotel Clagnuts, when do you want me to deposit lots and lots of money with you for no apparent reason Mark?
Ross Slaughter

… I could bait Mark Smith no more. I think he smelt a rat with that last email.



Posted by on April 23, 2009 in comedy, email, funny, humor, humour, joke, prank, spam


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