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Wasting the Time of One Mark Smith

You may have read my wind up of a chap calling himself Charles Harwood, Esq (see: Wasting the Time of One Charles Harwood Esq) Well, the suckers keep trying to tempt me in with emails promising riches beyond my wildest dreams… Read on.

mark smith wrote:
Good day,
I hope this e-mail meets you in good health and spirits I am MARK SMITH.. A supervisor of wildlife research institute United Kingdom. I want to book dinner for a group of workers. We are 10 in number and will be coming for dinner in your place.
ARRIVAL DATE: 1ST JUNE 2009
(Arriving time is not certain but they would dinner for 4 nights)
DEPARTURE DATE: 5TH JUNE 2009
DINNER TIME : 7:00 PM EACH DAY
As i do not know what the guests might choose for their mealsand drinks i will make a pre-payment of GBP 850 POUNDS.
Thank you for your kind help in advance.
Kind Regards,
Mark Smith
United Kingdom.

roskolewis wrote:
Hi Mark, yes we have been expecting you please go ahead and make the payment on our website and we look forward to seeing you when you get here,
Yours, Ross Slaughter

Mark Smith wrote:
Hello,
Good to read from you.I will send to you my Visa credit card details that will cover the cost of our booking,and the necessary arrangement for the guests.Moreover,we also made an arrangement with a logistics agent who will take care of all the guests logistics to include. 1) Accommodation 4)Transportation logistics during their stay. However,because of security reasons and confidentiality reposed on you and because they do not have credit card facility, we have decided that only YOU will have to handle the credit card information. So,once you receive my visa card account information, you are required to charge the total amount of {GBP 6,250} then deduct your deposit which is {GBP 850 } and send the balance of {GBP 5,400} to the logistics agent whose information will be forwarded to you once this is confirmed. N.B: All checks and balances will be made with you on 5th JUNE 2009 which is the final day of
the booking. So confirm this and provide me with your
1. YOUR FULL NAME………………..
2. ADDRESS………………………………….
3. MOBILE PHONE NUMBERS………………….
for office records. You are also to deduct the visa fees and taxes involved in processing this amount.PLEASE CONFIRM IF THIS ARRANGEMENT IS OK AND REPLY PROMPTLY TO ENABLE US PROCEED. Kind Regards,
Mark Smitt
60, Rumford Rd,
E15 4BZ , London,
United Kingdom.
+447031873402

roskolewis wrote:
Oh, I thought you were turning up tomorrow night.
Regarding the Armitage Bladder that we discussed on the phone the other day, do you want it in purple or monkfish colour. Also you touched on the subject of coming to the felching party – do you still want to go ahead with this? As I said, go to the website that you have used for all the relevant details Mark. Did you need some kind of help here? Are you still coming?

Mark Smith wrote:
/Hello/*
*/ With my respond i want to reasure you that I have confirmd
my bookings on the said dates 01/06/09 to 05/06/09 that means 4
nights so i will want you to make sure that you make every
arranagement to make sure that you reserve that space for us
which
you already known that we are a group of 10 which is made
up 10 adults /*
*/ So once more am very happy for your offer and also am
requsting for you to provide me with the information below
so that
i will send you a detail information containing my credit card
details for charging /*
*/ So the information that are required from you are stated as
follows /*
*/1YOUR FULL NAME
2. ADDRESS
3. MOBILE PHONE NUMBERS/*
*/ Once the information above is received i will forward my credit card details to you

roskolewis wrote:
Mark, what is going on here, you asked for my address last
time we spoke. Is everything okay? When we spoke on the phone did you say you liked drinking “vinegar stroke juice?” I need to know in order to organise the reception drinks for when your team arrive. Do you need anything else? I would imagine having deposited your funds you will need some money from me, yes? That is clearly how these bookings work isn’t it?

My full name and address is:

Ross Slaughter,
Larry Hagman House,
Bendolin Road,
Jellyfields,
East Bumbaclaart
T05 SER

Mark, can you confirm that you and your team are definitely up for
the felching party as I need to get the numbers down soon!

Yours thankingly,
Ross Slaughter

Mark Smith wrote:
Hello
I would like you to please kindly confirm the following steps for me. Upon the reciept of your confirmation I will send the details of my credit card for you to charge accordingly.
All you are required to do is :
1. As soon as you recieve the credit card details you are
required to charge the card for the total amount of GBP 6,250 + bank charges.
2. Once this is done and confirmed in your account, you simply
deduct the deposit of GBP 850 for your services and then
3. send the balance GBP 5,400 to the Logistic agent to enable
him conclude all traveling/accommodation arrangement. His information will be forwarded to you alongside the credit card
information.The balance includes the transfer charges via SWIFT bank or western union money transfer.
You are also to deduct the fees and taxes involved in processing this amount form the credit card details
4.. Prepare all invoice in my name.
PLEASE CONFIRM IF THIS ARRANGEMENT IS OK AND REPLY PROMPTLY TO ENABLE US PROCEED.
Kind Regards,
Mark Smith
+447031873402.

Subject: Re: CONFIRM THIS ……………….
To: “Mark Smith”
Date: Thursday, April 9, 2009, 4:16 PM

Mark, why are you not answering my questions?!?
Do you want “Vinegar Stroke Juice” and do you want to come to the Felching Party?!?! Once you have confirmed this I will deposit the funds!

Mark Smith wrote:
Hello
Many thanks for your email and also for the reservations me and my group,we will be very happy to spend the short while dinning at your place I want to confirm that i will be wanting the “Vinegar Stroke Juice” and also will be attending Felching Party so i want you to get back to me once you receive my email so that i will be sending you my credit card details for charging, I will want to remind you that you should note that my group is made up distinguish gentle men and ladies so we should be treated at such I will want an email from you urgently to confirm that you have received my email so that i will send provide my credit card details in my next email
Mark Smitt
60, Rumford Rd,
E15 4BZ , London,
United Kingdom
+447031873402

That’s fantastic Mark, I look forward to having a felching good time with you and watching you gulp my very own Vinegar Stroke Juice – full of protein! Anyway, I don’t know why we are talking about money as you paid me up front over the phone remember silly? Anyway, despite the fact that you have already paid me money for staying in my Hotel, Hotel Clagnuts, when do you want me to deposit lots and lots of money with you for no apparent reason Mark?
Ross Slaughter

… I could bait Mark Smith no more. I think he smelt a rat with that last email.

Rosko

 
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Posted by on April 23, 2009 in comedy, email, funny, humor, humour, joke, prank, spam

 

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